Help Wanted

As noted in the previous post, I have no decent clothes. Working at the zoo was perfect because we had uniforms, so I never had to decide what to wear. And at first, working as a writer was perfect because I was always on the phone, at home. But now, I am fairly regularly having to go out in public for work. It's rarely a formal ball, but there are lots of situations where you just can't wear a ratty pair of shorts and a webcomics tshirt.

It's hard to solve this problem because I am not interested in clothes and hate shopping for them. Nothing fits right, everything costs more than I want to pay, and despite being not interested in clothes I am very opinionated about how they look.

I've decided that the solution would be a service which, when I arrive at a shopping mall, takes away my car keys, and refuses to give them back until I return carrying bags full of purchases. They must be careful to check the bags for cheating if the mall has a bookstore - only clothes count.

In the meantime, we're about to head for the beach for the weekend, where there are a lot of outlet malls. Wish me luck.