General Announcement to Pug Dogs

When I am lying in bed between 7 and 7:30 AM, the following actions do NOT signal that I am about to get up and feed you:

1. Turning over

2. Yawning

3. BREATHING. Please note this one carefully.

4. Pulling the blanket over my head

5. Yelling from under the blanket, "I work at home, I don't have to get up this early!"

In the future, when I perform any of these actions, please MAINTAIN YOUR POSITIONS. There is NO NEED to leap up and seize the day until I indicate this clearly by placing my feet on the floor.

Thank you.

Differently abled

Last night we were trying to trim Lilly's nails and in the course of the struggle, a memory popped into my mind - of a three-legged Chihuahua that we used to know.

He was a nice dog. And, he had 25% less nails to trim.

I think that the next time we have an opening in our household for a dog, I'm going to see if I can find one that is missing a leg.

Yes, trimming the pugs' nails really IS that bad.

Home away from home

Crummy cellphone picture of the pugs in the hotel just down the street, to which we were banished during floor refinishing. When the couch wasn't soft enough for them, they got all the extra pillows you see in the photo. So they really had a good time, don't let those tragic expressions fool you.

General Annoucement to Hotel Proprietors

If you're going to give someone a 4:45 AM wakeup call, could please you be damned sure you're calling the right room? Thank you.

Haunting

All evening, snapping and popping noises come from behind the plastic curtain that separates the construction from the rest of the house. They even caused Rose to bark in the middle of the night as if someone were at the door.

The man of the house was sent to investigate on several occasions, particularly because this blog's Hollywood Correspondent recently reported the discovery of a rat in the closet of her nice house in a nice neighborhood. He insists that we do not have rats, numbats, porcupines or any other creatures that might account for the noises.

I can only conclude that the kitchen is haunted. Do you think they might turn out to be useful spirits who could once in a while pull their weight by making me a cup of tea, at least?

More Wisdom from Webcartoonists

FW: Speaking of your life right now… you recently made a big move from Brooklyn to Tucson. What do you think of the change?

DG: There are a lot of great things about Tucson: The weather, sure, and the cost of living. And it’s walkable if you live in the right part of town and sort of squint. And they have these hot dogs wrapped in bacon with beans and onion and pickled radish and cucumber and salsa on them. And the space — you aren’t always competing for limited space. You aren’t always figuring out how to make enough money to get by. There’s enough space and leisure, that without their scarcity to occupy your mind, you find it drifting to thoughts like, Am I living a morally defensible life?

FW: Ack.

DG: Who wants to think things like that? And what the hell kind of reason for living in a city is “the weather?” So, I’m moving. Across the country. In a Toyota Corolla. I should be back in Brooklyn by April.

From an interview with the author of Cat and Girl.

Wisdom for hard times

I hope that those of you who straddle the twin lips of the crevasse between WTF and OMG can make a break for either camp and parts beyond. I hope we stop scaring each other into groupthink hoarding. I hope we enjoy each day with a hot or cold beverage and a sweet or savory dish.

-Chris Onstad