One of the things I hated about being a college professor was when people asked me what I did for a living. Along with it being impossible to explain what linguistics is, it just seemed like such a pretentious thing to be.
So then I went to the other extreme and worked at a job where I had to haul bales and sweat and get sore and have poop all over my clothes.
Now, when people ask what I do, I have to say I am a writer. Which combines all the pretentiousness of being a professor with the low pay of being a zookeeper.
I guess I am going to have to keep trying till I get this right.